I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
