He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
