Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
