She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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