My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
