dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
