party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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