Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
