Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
