You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
