she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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