he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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