i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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