So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
