peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
