I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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