so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
