he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
