On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
