went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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