Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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