Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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