I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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