Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
