I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize