He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
