Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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