When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
