You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
