I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
