is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
