I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
