the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
They took my balls.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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