its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
