I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
