The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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