Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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