You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
