What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i now understand why vodka
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
