why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
try to milk me bitch
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