chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
