ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
