Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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