High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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