he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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