I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
