don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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