i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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