great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My day in three words: secret purse cake
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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