he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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