Do vagina's smell?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
