Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
