Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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