I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
