she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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