Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i want to swaddle you in tequila
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
